Starf*cker

Welcome to 2006

So I'm catching up on all the TV I missed when I was away from civilization. 

1) Project Runway - I'm so hooked on this show.  The contestants have mad skills, and I think it is probably the hardest competition on TV.  I predict Nick and Chloe will go far.  Diana is interesting, with her totally different take on fashion -- very "brave new world".  Santino is such a slimy prick.  He's talented, but the only reason they are keeping him around is because they need a villian.  Sassy host Heidi Klum is the catnip in the mix.

2) Gastineau Girls: The producers are getting their revenge this year by making Brittny and Lisa look like jerks.  Or, more specifically, Lisa looks like a drunk, and Brittny seems to be suffering from fetal alchohol syndrome.  It's like watching a train wreck.  I can't look away.

3) Daisy Does America: Laughing my ass off the entire show.  Daisy is having fun experiencing a different aspect of America every week, and we get to look at ourselves in the fun-house mirror.  I don't know where Courtney Cox and David Arquette found her--but this show is the best thing they've ever done.

That's it.  Those are the shows I see fit to Tivo (OK, I admit I have a shameful addiction to "What Not To Wear" and Vh1's "Best Week Ever") along with the occasional foray into Discovery Channel/Travel Channel/HGTV territory.

What are you watching?

Hibernating

Hello, friends.  I am currently snugged away in a cabin very near the small town I grew up in, and won't be blogging much until next week.  Hope you all have a nice little holiday with those you care about.

Gold Digger

"If you aint no punk holla We Want Prenup
WE WANT PRENUP! Yeaah
It's something that you need to have
Cause when she leave yo ass she gone leave with half..."

Lyrics from Kanye West (w/Jamie Foxx) "Gold Digger"

God that song irritates me.  Actually, any time the term "Gold Digger" is used I get offended.  Why?  Because it is always directed at the girl.  Why isn't there an equal term for the men who end up with "Gold Diggers"?  After all, you don't see these men getting "fooled" or "taken to the cleaners" by UN-attractive women, now do you?

In the chorus Kanye (whines): "...she aint messin wit no broke niggaz"

Take a look at yourselves, boys.  I don't see you rich guys "messin wit" no ugly chicks.  Or old chicks.  When those young, hottie, gold-diggin girls get old and boring, you'll be ditching them for younger, sexier models. 

So who is more despicable in these "Gold Digging" relationships?  The girl who goes for the successful guy?  Or the guy who follows his dick to the hottest target?  (A target who will use her lypo-enhanced bod, paid for by her last shallow guy, to attract the next shallow guy.)  I think these whiners deserve what they pay for.

Legal Disclaimer

This blog is purely for entertainment purposes.  Seriously, what's the point if we aren't having fun?

All allegations made within this forum may be entirely fictional.  Any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental.  I could be completely delusional and full of it.  Or attention-starved.  Whatever.  Say what you will.  Just don't sue me, please.

Thank you, and we'll see you LIVE on the net very, very soon!

Sad, SAG Holiday Party

As a member of SAG (the Screen Actors Guild) I often get invited to random parties and screenings hosted by the Guild, or the affiliated Guilds (Writers/Directors).  Most of the time they are excellent, but I have to say, this Thursday's "Holiday Open House" at the SAG offices, was just so sad and embarrassing.

The invite said "Warm appetizers will be served."  Translation:  Swedish Meatballs and Chicken Wings.  Accompanied by bottled water.  Which isn't all that bad in and of itself, but in the cavernous room, the 4 trays of food looked so pitiful.  It felt like "Feed the homeless SAG members" night, not a holiday party.  The crowd was "eclectic" to put it politely, and not mixing well.  My date remarked, upon observing the crowd, that the scene before us was exactly the reason our parents shook their heads in dispair when we expressed an interest in a career as an actor.  Her exact words were, "They think we're going to turn out to be THESE losers!"

Casting Director / Pimp

Wednesday, Dec. 14, 2005, 11:14 AM Pacific

DETECTIVE CHARLIE
Feature Film
SAG ULTRA LOW BUDGET

Producer/Director/Writer: Kavi Raz
Co-Casting Director: Opender Singh
Casting Director: Gary Churchwell-12006 HIGHWATER RD.
GRANADA HILLS, CA 91344

Interviews: TBD
Shoots: March/April 2006
Rate: Scale per ULB Contract

Most Auditions will be held at 8750 Wilshire Blvd., Beverly Hills, CA 91020,
at the film independent building on the corner of Robinson.

Synopsis: Living largely in a world of dreams, our hero oscillates between a world of terror inflicted upon him by his three ex-wives and a world of fantasy where he is smothered in unbridled passion. Detective Charlie is led on a wild goose chase in search of a missing husband. His client is a beautiful young bride. But is her husband really missing?

Shoots in San Francisco-Bay Area/Los Angeles

[ASHLEY ]
20's- early 30's. Street Walker. Sexy. Any ethnicity.
Location: San Francisco & Los Angeles

Good Night, and Good Luck.

Just saw a screening of "good night, and good luck." at the WGA in Beverly Hills.  Sat in the front row.  After the screening a panel, including George Clooney, Grant Heslov, David Strathairn, Frank Langella, and Ray Wise spoke about the film and answered questions.

The movie inspired me.  Politically, I think it is very relevant to our generation, and reflects our current political environment. 

As panelist and actor David Strathairn said the filmmakers went out on a limb to make this movie.  Strathairn pointed out that artists are often vilified for acting as citizens, and exercising their rights as Americans to free speech.  He commended Clooney and Heslov for their courage in making their point with this film, saying, "...the gauntlet is down for artists in this time of oppression and fear."

But I also had fear, when I saw the film, that it may not be particularly effective, because it is preaching to the choir, and wouldn't reach the people it should.  I stopped going to political rallies a few years ago, to avoid feeling that I was hanging out with of a bunch of like-minded types--self-righteously whanking each other off but not making a bit of difference. 

George Clooney said that when the film-makers were testing audience reaction to the movie, 25% of the audience did not know that the Senator Joseph McCarthy shown in the film was actually him.  They asked who the actor is who played him.  This leads me to believe that George, one way or another, is successfully making his point, and using his star-power and smarts to draw people into the conversation who might otherwise not participate.  In my book, that's a good thing.

Back / Shmack...Stars are Addicted to What?

   E! Online reports that super-hotty Colin Farrell has checked himself into rehab.

"Farrell got hooked on pain pills after suffering a back injury. He voluntarily checked himself into the treatment facility, which has not been identified. (Publicist Danica) Smith says the actor is also coping with "exhaustion."

You know, if I had a hundred dollars for every rehab stint due to "Pain Pill Addiction after Back Injury" reported by PR Flacks to the Stars, I'd be retired by now.

Give me a break, already.  Can't they be a little more creative?  Sheesh.  We all know pain pills (wink wink) are not the problem.

Wouldn't it be more fun (and probably much closer to the truth) if Danica had released this statement: "After frolicking wildly for weeks with lithe nymphs from Borneo, and indulging in an abundance of Kava Kava, Farrell checked himself into the treatment center for a much needed nap.  He is expected to return to the public eye after a respectable period of Hibernation"

Small World...(10 + 10 = Perfect?)

In Winter 2000 I worked as "Beach Atmosphere" on Howard Stern's show "Son of the Beach".  The show was crap--but as far as an extra-ing gig went, it had it's good and bad moments.  Good, when it was warm and all we had to do was lie on the beach all day.  Bad when it was cold, and the sadistic extra's wrangler (he may have even been the 2nd AD) motivated all of us whose lips were turning blue by screaming in our faces that we'd, "Never work on his fucking set again (if we didn't) act like it was 80 degrees and sunny!" (Most of us were earning $46 a day for that privilege, by the way.)

Anyways...some regular "Beach Atmosphere" for this show was a group called the "Perfect 10" girls.  They are a little like Playboy Bunnies, but without any augmentations.  IE:  Real breasts, no lipo, etc.  One day, we were sitting around waiting to work and one of the Perfect 10 girls and I got to talking.  It turned out that we had gone to the same Summer Bible Camp together in our home state.  We traded stories about mutual acquaintances, reminisced, but there was definitely a shadow to the entire exchange.  It was clear that her work involved a little more than nude modeling, to get by.  And that she lived in a house with a few other girls who did the same.  I could tell that our meeting, which reminded her of the innocent girl she had been back in Summer Camp, made her sad, and regretful of the choices she was making in her pursuit of fame.

I've never seen her again, on TV, or around town.  Occasionally she comes to mind, and I wonder what happened to her.  She was definitely a lost soul--who paid a high price to survive Hollywood.

The Snake Devours Itself

From Los Angeles magazine, December 2005.  Editor-in-Chief Kit Rachlis says (referencing Malcolm Gladwell's tipping point theory):

"...the holy trinity of celebrity, media, and retail.  Together they form an economic feedback loop.  At its most basic it works like this: Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan buys a pair of boots at Kitson; the paparazzi ... photograph Hilton or Lohan in the boots; the image appears in Us Weekly or on the E! channel; and readers and viewers rush to *Kitson to acquire the boots.  Everybody gains.  The Hot Young Thing confirms her status by being photographed.  The paparazzi earn a living by selling the photo.  The magazine or the TV show retains its insider aura and maintains, if not expands, its audience.  The store receives a surge of customers and an increase in business."

(Ed. note: Kitson is a trendy, super-overpriced boutique on Robertson in Beverly Hills.  I once described it to a friend of mine who lives on the East coast as a store stocked with $500 beadazzled t-shirts created by bored Hollywood wives.)